20/20 Vision

I am writing this, sitting in my hotel room in Malaysia, missing my family and feeling heavy in my heart because it seems R1 may need glasses (he is coming to 8). It has always been my hope that my children will grow up with 20/20 vision, even though nowadays most Singaporean kids develop Miyopia at a very early stage.

Incidentally, my daily scripture reading today brings me to Ezekiel 20:20, which says that God, in His perfect vision, has given us the Sabbath as a means to remember that He is the LORD our God. I have always wondered what's the fuss with the Sabbath, and why God put so much emphasis on it in the Old Testament, and is it still relevant to us today? This verse reminds me that God gave us Sunday to keep us real. He gave us Sabbath so that in coming to church and in worshipping/serving Him, we will be reminded that He is our God, and not be distracted/misled/discouraged by the world. Amen!

My Country, My Home

Singapore's National Day is just around the corner, and this year marks the 1st year where we proudly fly the flag at our apartment. My father has been loyally flying his national flag at this house every August for as long as I can remember, but this is the 1st time we're doing it. Maybe I am getting sentimental with age.

On the bible reading front, would you believe that since my last post on this in June, I have caught up with my "reading deficit" of 40 days and is now right on schedule again? Yup, I have been making use of the extra time during taper and the rest weeks after OSIM Tri to do some mugging. =) Now that I have finally caught up with the daily readings, I am running out of excuses to be still resting...

LORD, Establish My Thoughts!

According to my inbox, I am now 167 days into into my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan, and 37 days behind schedule, so I slowly but steadily making progress to catch up. :-)

I have finished reading the book of Proverbs, and am going thru 1 Kings and 2 Chronicles. A particular verse really spoke to me:

"Commit your works to the LORD, and your thoughts will be established." (Proverbs 16:3, NKJV)

I have been rather unsettled lately, there just seems so much to think about in just about every aspect of my life - my job, family, even training. This verse reminds me that everything that I do, I am to commit to the Lord. Meaning, whatever I do, I do unto the Lord and to the best of my abilities/resources, and then I leave the OUTCOME to God. Only then, will my thoughts be truly established - i.e. only then, will I have true peace.

So at work, there may be uncertainties around changing job scope, but I just do what I can for the good of the company and the people I work with, and leave the rest to God. If my job scope increases, I praise God for enlarging my tent and use my increased influence to do more for Him. If my job scope reduces, I praise God that He is in charge and gives me the work that He wants me to do.

In training, even though I have lost 4 weeks of training and my 1st Olympic Distance Triathlon is less than 2 weeks away, I just enjoy the training I can still put in, and leave the outcome to God. If I complete the triathlon, I praise God that He gave me the strength and fitness to do so. If I have to pull out halfway, I praise God that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and for the priviledge of being able to swim, bike and run.

In my family, I accept that it is a journey with God, and trust Him to provide for us, protect us and lead us, come what may. I hold onto the truth that His will is to prosper us and not to harm us, and that Jesus has already come to destroy the works of the devil, and He has left us the Holy Spirit to continue to do so and establish His kingdom here on earth.

It's funny how the most powerful truths in God's kingdom are also the really simple ones. Truly our God is an awesome and wise God. Amen!

God-Who-Forgives

According to my mailbox, I am 146 days into my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan, and a whopping 43 days behind schedule!

Just came across this verse that speaks so much about our God's nature:
"... You were to them God-Who-Forgives,
Though You took vengeance on their deeds." Psalm 99:8

Truly He forgives the sinner yet punishes the sin. Praise God!

I am less than a month away from my 1st Olympic Distance Triathlon (again), and it is not looking good. Training has come to pretty much a stand-still in the last few weeks due to business travels, vacation in Malaysia and I have gone from sore throat to snortin' out green stuff in the morning. Maybe I will call it an extended taper. ;-)

Wonderfully Apt

1 Chronicles 1-10, 2 Samuel 1-4, Psalm 17, 121-125, 128-130, 6, 8-10, 14, 16, 19, 21, 43-45, 49, 84, 85, 87, 73, 77, 78, 81, 88, 92 ,93, 102-104 (13 days from http://www.bibleinayear.org/). In short, I am making SLOW progress catching up.

I believe one of the manifestations of the miracle of God's living word is how it is so wonderfully apt even today despite the huge change in historical/geographical/cultural context. This time, Psalms 73 really spoke to me, and I can find no better words to express how I have been feeling than these:

Psalms 73 (New King James)

1 Truly God is good to Israel,
To such as are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled;
My steps had nearly slipped.
3 For I was envious of the boastful,
When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4 For there are no pangs in their death,
But their strength is firm.
5 They are not in trouble as other men,
Nor are they plagued like other men.
6 Therefore pride serves as their necklace;
Violence covers them like a garment.
7 Their eyes bulge[a] with abundance;
They have more than heart could wish.
8 They scoff and speak wickedly concerning oppression;
They speak loftily.
9 They set their mouth against the heavens,
And their tongue walks through the earth.

10 Therefore his people return here,
And waters of a full cup are drained by them.
11 And they say, “How does God know?
And is there knowledge in the Most High?”
12 Behold, these are the ungodly,
Who are always at ease;
They increase in riches.
13 Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain,
And washed my hands in innocence.
14 For all day long I have been plagued,
And chastened every morning.

15 If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children.
16 When I thought how to understand this,
It was too painful for me—
17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God;
Then I understood their end.

18 Surely You set them in slippery places;
You cast them down to destruction.
19 Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment!
They are utterly consumed with terrors.
20 As a dream when one awakes,
So, Lord, when You awake,
You shall despise their image.

21 Thus my heart was grieved,
And I was vexed in my mind.
22 I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
23 Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
24 You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
26 My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

27 For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
28 But it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord GOD,
That I may declare all Your works.

Amen!

Sanctified to serve Him

Just want to let you know that although I have gone quiet on my daily readings, I have NOT given up, in fact, I have been trying hard to catch-up. Since my last post (a month ago), I have covered Deuteronomy 30-34, Joshua 1-24, Judges 1-21, Ruth 1-4, 1st Samuel 1-24, and some chapters from Psalms (7, 27, 31, 34, 52, 56, 120, 140-142), which is a total of 27 days from http://www.bibleinayear.org/. So, no I did not manage to do much catching up. :-(

How can I do justice to all that the Lord has said through these chapters? I simply can't, there is just so much to write about. One thing that sticks to my mind as I look back now is that I remember getting depressed reading about how human nature forces us to behave like the Israelites in Deuteronomy, Joshua and Judges - they were singularly unable to rise above their human nature and serve God, and today we are much the same way. We all have weaknesses in our lives that the Lord deals with, and some of these weaknesses have become such strongholds that we continually fall back into the same sins. But compared to the Israelites of old, we are so priviledged to have Jesus already come to die for us, and also to have Him tell us that He has removed our sins. Without Jesus, we simply cannot fulfill what we are made to do - to worship God.

Rejoice!

I have definitely fallen behind in my daily scripture reading. It has been almost a month since my last post, and I have only covered 14 days of bible reading from http://www.bibleinayear.org/ - Numbers 28-36, Deuteronomy 1-29. :-(

As I recall the chapters that I have read, I am reminded that we are commanded by God to rejoice in Him. In the book of Deuteronomy alone, it was commanded 8 times (or more): Deuteronomy 12:7, 12:12, 12:18, 14:26, 16:11, 16:14, 16:15, 26:11, and probably summarised in the verse "... you shall rejoice in every good thing which the LORD your God has given to you and your house ..." (Deut 26:11, New King James version). It does not say "you will rejoice" nor does it say "it's good for you to rejoice", it says "you shall rejoice, which implies that what is required is a conscious effort to rejoice in Him, even as we remember God's awesome grace in our everyday lives.

I have to confess that this is an area of failing in my life. Whenever the troubles at work becomes too much to bear, I tend to start looking for things of the world to retore my peace and joy - be it training or dreams about "extravagent luxuries". I'm struggling with what it means to derive joy from the Lord - I am sure that He blesses us with material things out of love, just as I want to give R1 & R2 nice things, but I sometimes find it hard to make sure that I am seeking Him and not His blessings.

Korah's Rebellion

Numbers 14-27 (6 days in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan).

The nice thing about reading through the Bible is that it makes it easier to understand what I am reading through the context of the chapters preceeding. Take Korah, for example, his life story spans from chapters 3 to 26 and it would have been easy to miss the context of his rebellion against Aaron & Moses if I was not reading through the chapters.

Korah was a member of the Kohath clan among the Levites during the time when the Israelites were wandering 40 years in the desert (Numbers 16:1). Korah's clan was 2,750 men strong (Numbers 4:34-35) and their job was to carry (by hand) "the ark, the table, the lampstand, the altars, the utensils of the sanctuary.. [and] the screen" (Numbers 3:31) used in the Tabernacle whenever the Israelites moved. Oxen and carts were given to the other Levite clans to help carry the heavier stuff like the tents, screens, pillars and boards, but Korah's clan was assigned to carry the holy articles in the Tabernacle, and they were to be carried on their shoulders (Numbers 7:1-9).

Numbers 4:5-15 tells us that each time when it was time to move, Aaron and the priests would cover the ark and the instruments in cloth and animal skins. Only after that would Korah's clan move in to carry the stuff. All those years of carrying the holy articles in the Tabernacle without being allowed to see or touch them may have gotten to Korah, because one day, he and his buddies (Dathan, Abiram and On) rounded up 250 of the influential leaders of the Israelite community and rebelled against Aaron and Moses (Numbers 16:1-2). It doesn't pay to rebel against God's appointed leaders of course, and the result was that Korah and his friends were swallowed alive by the earth that they were standing on (Numbers 16:31-33), and the 250 leaders were literally incinerated by God's wrath (Numbers 16:35). In fact, Dathan and Abiram's entire families were also swallowed alive because they did not stand apart from their families (i.e. their families stood with them in their rebellion), but Korah's family was spared (Numbers 26:9-11) because they were not standing united with Korah's rebellion.

This entire encounter teaches me two significant things:

1. We each have our God given ministry and we need to find out what it is and serve. Not all of us will be leaders or pastors, and God certainly doesn't like it when we rebel against the leaders He put above us. This doesn't mean that we should not try to be leaders in our own right, nor does it mean that we are to follow our leaders with blind faith. (In fact, 1 Thessalonians 5:21 warns us to "test all things" we are told/taught.). Instead, we should not take our ministry lightly and think too highly of ourselves, lest we fall into Korah's sin - Korah felt he was literally too good for his ministry and resented the authority of the God appointed leaders over him.
   
2. God judges us by our own sins, not the sins of our family (past and present). Some passages in the Old Testament seem to suggest that God punishes the children of sinners to the 3rd or 4th generation (e.g. Exodus 20:5-6), but if we take into context the entire message of the bible, we will find that God does not visit the sins of our fore-fathers upon us. In this case, it is clear that Korah's family was spared even though he committed a terrible sin, and we can find other passages that similarly support the fact that God judges us by our own sins (e.g. Jeremiah 31:29-30). This is significant for me, because coming from a non-Christian family, many Christian friends have advised me to pray against bondages that my fore-fathers may have placed upon me through the generations of idol and ancester worship. I have always found that hard to accept. Somehow it does not fit in with what I know of Him. And now I know why. Praise God!
   

Confession: I was Impatient with God...

Numbers chapters 1 - 13 (6 days in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan).

I have a confession to make and it is related to Numbers 11. Chapter 11 describes how the Israelites "yielded to intense craving" (Numbers 11:4) in the desert and complained to Moses & God about not having meat to eat, despite being provided with sweet tasting Manna daily. The Lord responded by giving them meat "not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but for a whole month, until it comes out of [their] nostrils and becomes loathsome to [them]." (Numbers 11:19-20). However, God was not impressed with their whinning and impatience, and "while the meat was still between their teeth, before it was chewed, the wrath of the LORD was aroused against the people, and the LORD struck the people with a very great plague." (Numbers 11:33)

This has such a strong parallel to what happened to me yesterday that I cannot call it anything else but a strong wake up call from Him above. For 4 years now, I have been unhappy with my financial situation - in short, I have not been contented with the many blessings the Lord has poured upon me and my family. By all accounts I am blessed with a comfortable life, yet I have been struggling with the worry that I am under-paid, and I have at times "yielded to intense craving" just like the Israelites in the desert. I wanted something (let's call it an "extravagent luxury") that my present finances does not allow. I have been impatient with God, and have been frustrated trying to find the balance between waiting upon Him and taking things into my own hands and finding alternatives. There is of course no such thing as a balance when it comes to waiting on Him. When I am waiting on Him, I am supposed to WAIT. Period. Not make up excuses to "speed things along" nor help God out by running ahead of Him. Yet somehow that is so much easier said than done.

Yesterday morning, I came into some money that was totally unplanned. Not exactly a windfall, but just about enough for me to commit to getting a loan towards the the 1st installment of this "extravagent luxury" I have been wanting. Yet strangely, I just wasn't ready to commit to getting it. I was very happy and thankful for this nice surprise, but there was just no conviction to go shopping. That same afternoon, I heard from Mrs Nitrox that R2 has high fever and threw up. Whatever elation I felt just about disappeared. The rest of the day was a blur, but last night as I was lying in bed, a few thoughts occurred to me:

1. I am guilty of the sin of being impatient with God. Because of that, I came so close to missing out on this nice surprise that He had in store for me. It is only His awesome love and generosity that has brought about this totally undeserved blessing. Like the Israelites in the desert, who were too busy whinning to see His blessings, I am an undeserving recipient of His manna and quail. I am overwhelmed by His love.

2. God also made it pretty clear that despite my sustained whinning, the "extravagent luxury" I wanted wasn't really all that important to me. The reality is that lots of other things more much more important - my family and their well-being being one such example. For some strange reason it is so easy to forget that. I am half convinced that the next time I see a young guy driving a sports car or sitting in business class, I will again forget and start to whine again. Lord, please help me to guard my heart!

3. Maybe I enjoy whinning and complaining about not getting what I want more than the "extravagent luxury" itself. Now that it is within reach, I am basically not ready to take the plunge and get it anyway. What is it about me that thrives when I am curled up in self-pity? How can God Himself see something beautiful enough in something so twisted and wrong that He came to die for me?

My friends, we have an AWESOME, AWESOME God, and we are so priviledged to be loved by Him.

Loving Instructions

Leviticus 19-27 (4 days in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan). I am still more than 2 weeks behind. :-(

As I read through the chapters of Leviticus, what speaks to me most is love of a God who wants to dwell with us, and to teach us about the gravity of sin.

Last evening, R2 wanted to go to the playground (R1 was still having his dinner), so I went with him. The kids played catching and I chatted with a neighbour. Before I knew it, R2 has bounded after another boy and ran across the street. Thankfully it wasn't a busy street, but I was not amused. I had to take him home and discipline him - despite his protests that he was just following the other boys, we did not tell him not to run across THAT PARTICULAR street, and then claiming that he forgot, etc... (Just look at the innocent look on his face.) I didn't like doing it, but I had to do it, because I had to make sure that he fully understood the gravity of his misdeed. I had to be very strict with him despite his excuses because I wanted him to be consistent in how he acts going forword - i.e. never run across ANY street again.

In a way, this little incident sums up the book of Leviticus rather well. God loves us, wants to be with us, and wants the best for us (just like I love R2, want to bring him to the playground, and I want him to play safe and play nicely with the other kids). God knows that the land of Canaan is a dangerous place for the Israelites if they fall into the same detestable practices of the land - which included child sacrifice and prostitution. Hence He wants them to be set apart from the rest of the people and obey His instructions (just like me wanting R2 to obey my instructions not to run across the street, whether or not the other kids do so).

I now see the meticulous (and sometimes repetitive) instructions in the book of Leviticus as the painstaking effort that God made to explain and drill home the gravity of sin and how to avoid it, and when that fails, how to atone for it. I cannot love R2 and allow him to run across the street at this age, whatever others do, and God cannot love us without telling us, in His infinite wisdom, what is not good for us.

Praise God!

Sin is SERIOUS STUFF!

Leviticus chapters 1 - 18 (6 days in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan).

I used to find these chapters really dry - a whole lot of stuff about ceremonies and rules that do not seem too relevant to life today. Praise God that the more times I read these chapters, the more of His nature speaks to me. I am gradually understanding how the Old Testament form of atonement & worship is actually very relevant to the entire message of the Bible.

Perhaps above all else, is the very clear message that (1) sin is serious stuff that God abhores and (2) despite how much God hates sin, He still wants to dwell with us and have a relationship with us, hence the very elaborate atonement and worship processes laid out in Leviticus.

There is certainly a very clear message that atonement (for sin) can only be made by spilling blood - I guess this re-enforces the truth that sin brings death, and since blood is the "life of the flesh", blood must be spilled to atone for sin - Leviticus 17:11.

Worship in the Old Testament days was a serious affair, the person who presents the sacrifice has to put his hand on the head of the animal (vivid reminder that the animal is dying in his place), and even kill and skin the animal himself (Leviticus 3 seems to suggest that even though only the priest can minister before God by offering/burning the sacrifice, the requirement is that the animal is killed and skinned by the person who brings it). Even in those days without nicely packed meat in supermarkets, that must have been quite a graphic reminder of the seriousness of sin and the heavy price needed to atone for it so Man can approach God.

This culminated in God coming in the form of Jesus and spilling His own blood as atonement for all our sins - past, present and future - the ultimate and final sacrifice in accordance to His own requirements. It is the perfect way for God to extend His love and grace to us, and yet not compromise His perfect and holy nature.

Set Apart

Exodus chapters 25 - 40 (6 days in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan). Yikes, has it really been a week since I last posted?!?! Work has been crazy - some unforseen complications has had me stressing out and working late. AND... The NUS Biathlon is in only 2 weeks! This is when I usually go through the "maybe I shouldn't do this" kinda thoughts, but it'll pass. :-)

So these 16 chapters are primarily about the Tabernacle - God's very detailed instructions about how to build and sanctify it, and the people's detailed obedience to build and sanctify it. I have always found it hard to visualise the Tabernacle and this time I decided to jump on the 'Net and goggle it. :-) Praise God for websites like http://www.the-tabernacle-place.com/ - I would encourage you to check it out if you have also had difficulty visualising the very detailed instructions on the Tabernacle and it's many furnishings.

As I read these chapters, the one thing that kept speaking to me was how the entire Tabernable and furnishings were set apart for God and God alone. Each and every instrument/furnishing served a special purpose and they were only to be used for worshipping God. Even the incense and annointing oil were specially prepared, and are only to be used for worship. We are now God's Tabernacle on earth - His dwelling place on earth (1 Corinthians 6:19), and in a similar way, we are to be set apart for God. It doesn't mean that we are to be so "holy" as to live apart from society (God does not call us to be hermits - not all of us anyway), but it means that even as we live and function in this world, we need to be conscious that we live, breathe, think and act for Him. A preacher once said that it is impossible to be so holy that we are of no earthly use. Reason being that if we are indeed holy (i.e. set apart for God), we would set apart our hearts for Him, and God's heart is with his people. We cannot be set apart for God if we do not share His love for His creations.

My prayer is that God will protect us and minister to us even as we are set apart for Him in this fallen world. Because we are different from the world, and we can only find peace and joy in our purpose - which is to be set apart for worshipping Him. Amen!

Daily Bread

Exodus 16-24 (3 Days in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/).

What speaks to me most in these chapters is the miracle of Manna that God provided for the Israelites in the desert.

1. Manna was provided just enough for the day - Each day everyone would go out and gather, but somehow everyone would have just enough (Exodus 16:16-18).
2. God provided Manna for each day, it would not keep to the next day, so the Israelites had to go out and collect it fresh each day. (Except for the day before Sabbath, where twice the amount will be provided and the Manna will keep to the next day.)
3. In His abundance, God provided both meat (quail) and manna - a balanced diet of proteins and carbohydrates. :-)
4. In his gracious love, God provided Manna that is tasty - "...it was like white coriander seed, and the taste of it was like wafers made with honey." (Exodus 16:31).

The daily provision of Manna reminds me of how Jesus taught us to pray "Give us each day our daily bread." (Luke 11:3). It is important to God that we depend on Him daily, yet His provision is more than enough for us. Just like with Manna, He knows what we need and provides for us beyond even what we ask (like with provision of quail), and His provisions delight us (just like the wafers of honey).

This daily provision builds what is most important in God's eyes - a relationship with us. In today's context, this probably speaks of the importance of daily Quiet Time with God - we need to feed upon His Word daily and interact with Him (thru prayer) on a daily basis. I'll be the first to confess that I am still not consistently doing this on a daily basis, and I can see the consequence of not doing so. When I wonder too far from Him, I start to make decisions based on my own will and "cleverness", which tend not to be very wise decisions.

Here I am Lord, send him me.

Exodus chapters 1 -15, a full 5 days of my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan. :-) A quick caveat though: the site seems to have missed sending out some emails in the last few weeks, but the website hosts the (personalised) reading plan in HTML format, so with a bit of inconvenience, it is still very much possible to stay on track.

Wow, so much speaks to me, but the experience of Moses at the burning bush speaks to me the most.

Remember that Moses, in his younger days, was so eager to defend his people that he killed an Egyptian (Exodus 2:11-12). Yet, when God called him to be the leader to release his people from bondage, he had just about every excuse for God to send someone else:

1. First he said: ""Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?"" (Exodus 3:11). To which God said (and I paraphrase) "No worries, I will give you a sign." Only problem was that the sign is that Moses will lead all the Israelites to Mt Horeb (where the burning bush was) to worship God after he has led them out of Egypt! That's like me asking "Am I really qualified to teach at Sunday School?" and God answering "I will give you a sign: When you have taught Sunday School for a year, you will find that it is very rewarding." God has a sense of humour. :-)
2. Then Moses wanted to know who is sending him (in case the Israelites ask him). And God simply said "I am" (Exodus 3:14). There was no need to explain who He is, because God is the same God that Moses, the Israelites and their ancestors already knew. God is essentially saying "I am God, and that's good enough for you".
3. Then Moses asked "What if they don't listen to me?". And God gaves him the ability to perform signs and wonders - staff turning to snake, healing, and turning water to blood (Exodus 4:1-9). God equips us for the work He has set out for us, be it the ability to perform signs and wonders, or the ability to teach, for example.
4. Even with the ability to perform signs and wonders, Moses argued that he is not eloquent, to which God assured him that it will be Him that is doing the talking, not him.
5. Finally Moses came to the crux of what really mattered to him. He said "O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send." (Exodus 4:13). Essentially he is saying "Here I am Lord, but please send him (anyone else but me). This was the point at point God was angered, and He chose Aaron to be Moses' mouth piece (Exodus 4:14).

It strikes me that Moses' reaction is very much like our human nature (I confess that I do behave like that sometimes). When we want to do something in our agenda (in our way), we will run ahead and just do it (compare this to Moses killing the Egyptian because he saw the Israelites being oppressed and wanted to do something about it). But when God takes our ambition to the next level and wants us to adopt His agenda (like God asking Moses to lead His people our of Egypt), we suddenly lose the passion we once had, simply because God is not telling us to do thing our way, instead He wants us to do things His way. When we do things our way (again compare to Moses killing the Egyptian), we tend to think small, and are content with dubious small victories (that often times could even do more harm than good). But when God wants us to do things His way, He is giving us the priviledge to be his instrument to do something BIG (like Moses releasing ALL the Isralites from slavery).

Thus, my prayer today is that we will have the wisdom and discernment to consistently hear God in our daily lives, and when He calls us (and He will), we will say "Here I am Lord, send him me!".

Taking the High Road...

I have decided that I like the picture of R1 & R2 jumping so much that I will use it as a header. :-) The picture somehow lifts my spirit and reminds me to JUMP UP for the Lord because He has given us the freedom to take hold of His unspeakable joy and unshakable peace.

As I go through Genesis 43-50 (another 3 days in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan), Joseph's act of grace to forgive his brothers - even though they sold him to slave traders and lied to their father that he was dead - reminds me that it is only God's grace that gives us the ability to take the high road in life. Ol' Nitrox is just like any office worker out there - in my daily work, I meet people who are out to satisfy their personal agenda, whatever the cost to others (and even to the company). These people really make my blood boil, and many times I catch myself reacting in spite when I should really be taking the high road. It is only when I calm down and remember that

1. I work for God and not for men (Colossians 3:23), and
2. He who is in me is greater than he who is in this world (1 John 4:4)

That's when I can stop worrying about what others around me may think about me, and have the ability to take the high road and do the right thing.

There is a very real price to being a Christian at work today. God came to this world to teach us and finally to die for us so that we can catch a glismpe of the kingdom of heaven, so that having the assurance of victory and eternal life, we may be freed from the fears and concerns of this world, so that we can pay the price of being a Christian.

As I write this, a very dear friend of mine in church may well have paid the high price of being a Christian at work. She was chosen for retrenchment after 10 years on the job, and I suspect the choice has more than a little to do with her being the odd one out who does not compromise her Christian values at work. Singapore labour law does NOT require employers to provide any sort of severance pay even for retrenchment, so she is in the midst of a difficult test right now. P, if you are reading this, our prayers are with you, and I praise God that even in such tough times, we can have the certainty that He is in control. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Have faith dear sister, have faith. Be proud that you have taken the high road, and continue to take the high road. It is the only path God has set out for us. Be secure in the knowledge that your steps have stayed on His path, you have not wavered from following Him (Psalm 17:5, NLT) and so like David, you will see Him and be satisfied (Psalm 17:15, NLT). He will be your vindication. He will restore to you what is rightfully yours - your unshakable peace and unshakable joy. Amen!

JUMP!

Somehow this picture never fails to give me a bit more zest in whatever I am doing. :-) Zest that I badly need in my bible reading plan to catch up with the days I have missed so far. Zest that seems to be missing in the morning when I wake up and head to work nowadays (but more on that later).

Since my last post, I read 10 chapters (Genesis 32-42), which is 4 days in in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ daily reading plan. As always, so much speaks to me in these chapters, but I will focus on what's top most on my mind as I recall the readings. Ol' Nitrox did not grow up in a Christian family, so it is only a few years ago that I started praying that God will make me like Joseph, David and Daniel - men who were blessed with spiritual and material success. As I read these chapters again, the question in my mind is if I can truly be like Joseph?

Joseph went through tremendous ups and downs in his life. Starting as a favourite son, to being sold as a slave, to being the head of Potiphar's household, to being falsely accused and sent to jail, to rising up to be the leader among prisoners, to seeing his chance of getting out of jail dashed (when the chief butler forgot about his promise to bring Joseph's case before Pharaoh), to being rasied to the second man to Pharoah in all of Egypt, to being a blessing to Egypt and all the nations around when there was a famine. Talk about ups and downs! Ol' Nitrox is going thru a small "trough" at work - re-organisation changes are threatening cut my job back to it's scope 4 years ago when I started in the current company. This has been a particularly painful pill to swallow since we have grown the business more than 4 times in the 4 years. But as I look upon the circumstances at work now, the "trough" pales in comparision to any one of the "downs" that Joseph had to go through.

Lord, you have made me to love you with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength (Deuteronomy 6:5). So give me the strength to JUMP back from whatever troughs/downs that life brings my way!

I beg your pardon...

... I never promised you a rose garden,

along with the sunshine,
there's gotta be a little rain sometime..."

So goes the song from Lynn Anderson (I love how tall her hair is - they can write both her name AND the song title on it). :-) The slightly younger generation would perhaps associate these lyrics with the song from Kon Kan).

As I read Genesis 25-31 (Days 20-22 in my http://www.bibleinayear.org/ daily reading plan), it strikes me that God's plan for us is often like the words in the song - He never promised us a rose garden either. Remember how God has promised Abraham to give the entire land of Canaan to his desecndants and that they will be as numerous as sand? Well, it was another 25 years of waiting/hoping/praying before Abraham and Sarah finally had Isaac. And what happens when it was Isaac and Rebekah's turn to continue the family line that is supposed to outnumber the sand on the beach? Rebekah was barren and was only able to conceive after Isaac "pleaded with the LORD for his wife" (Genesis 25:21).

Sometimes, we seem to think that because God has given us a vision/conviction or called us to a ministry, that everything should be smooth flowing. Afterall, we are doing His will, right? I mean, when God promised Abraham that he will be the father of nations and his descendants will outnumber the sand on the beach, the last thing I expected was for him and his only son (Isaac) to have difficulties having children of their own. I gotta remember that sometimes, God values the process more than the outcome.

This is perhaps a large part of the miracle of God's process of salvation - the outcome is already decided and known, what's in it for us is the opportunity to learn and to grow into Christian maturity as much as we can, while we are still here on earth. That window of opportunity closes when we die or when Christ returns (whichever is sooner). Sobering thought, isn't it?

Rising above the level of kids...

Here's a recent family picture from Mrs Nitrox's brother's wedding. It's not often that we, as a family, are so well dressed, so it's good that someone took a picture for us. :-)

I am at Genesis 19-24 in my bible reading plan. I am so far behind schedule that it is not even funny anymore. These are "loaded" chapters - they start from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, through to how Abraham and Sarah was finally blessed with Isaac and was tested by God (who asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac to Him). It is impossible to include all the things that spoke to me in these chapters, but strangely, what spoke to me most was Genesis 21:9 "And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, scoffing." (KIV).

OK, a bit of context here perhaps: Abraham (and Sarah) finally had their own son (Isaac) when Abraham was 100 years old (Genesis 21:5) - well past their child bearing age. This was also a full 25 years since God first promised the land to Abraham's descendants (Genesis 12:1-4). So to say that Isaac was a REALLY precious child in Abraham & Sarah's eyes would not be an over-statement. When Isaac was weaned, the proud parents had a big party for the baby, and Sarah saw Ishmael (Abraham's son thru the maid Hagar) "scoffing". It apparently so drove her up the wall that she had Abraham drive Hagar and Ishmael out from their home and into the surrounding desert. An event that almost cost Hagar and Ishmael their lives.

So here is the confession time for me. I am also guilty of being driven up the wall sometimes when I see other (older) kids bullying or scoffing at R1/R2. I can't understand how I can get so angry with, esssentially, kids! I have felt that way since R1/R2 were toddlers venturing to the playground. When R1/R2 were younger I have actually told off some kids, even in front of their parents. In the last few weeks, with all my nephews and nieces here in Singapore (4 of them staying with us), I have been cheesed off more than once with some of their rather mild teasing/bullying of R1/R2 (who are the 2 youngest cousins). Even little things like excluding R1/R2 in their games, fighting with R1/R2 for snacks/computer time/attention really ilks me. The logical part of me says "Let them be kids", but something in me just flares up to see my precious R1/R2 being "sidelined". I tend to be a very "hands on" Dad, and sometimes it is hard to do that and still remind myself to stay above the level of kids. I have to consciously remind myself that I am being silly, and make an effort to be the dear ol' Uncle Nitrox to my nephews & nieces. Silly isn't it? I mean my nephews and nieces are such wonderful kids - the problem lies very much with me. Yes, I am embarassed.

Praise God that He has opened my eyes to another area in my life that I have to give up to Him. I have to remember that God comes first. And that means that I have to put my ministry to my extended family (bro/sis-in-laws and nephews) and my friends/neighbours above these minor irritations, and trust that God is partnering Mrs Nitrox and I in parenting and protecting R1/R2. It sure is hard, but with His grace, all things are possible, and I can only get better at it. Praise God!

Initiative or Obedience

With the "double whammy" of school starting and their cousins returning to USA/Australia, I hope it wouldn't be too much of a culture shock for R1 & R2. We got them to do some homework today to try to get their minds off the last few weeks of fun and games. On my end, it also means getting back to the daily rhythm of work, family, QT (Quiet Time with the Lord) and training - with work and family to juggle, there is simply no room for procastination when it comes to QT and triathlon training. I either jump into it, or the day just flies away somehow.


So let's jump straight into Genesis chapters 12-18 (which is 2 days in my chronological bible reading plan from http://www.bibleinayear.org/). This is a very interesting passage about how God called Abram to be Abraham (i.e. "father of many", Genesis 17:5) , and how the ancestors of the Jews and the Arabic nations (i.e. Isaac and Ishmael respectively) came about. As I read these chapters, I am reminded of the very real issue of balancing initiative versus obedience - i.e. just where is the balance between using our initiative (i.e using the faculties of our minds that the Lord blessed us with) and waiting/obeying upon Him.

There are at least 3 examples in these chapters that speak of the danger of "running before the Lord":

1. Chapter 12 - Abraham (then Abram) travelled to Egypt to escape the famine in Canaan. God told Abram to go to Canaan, and to his credit he went. But when there was a famine in the land, verse 10 seems to suggest that Abraham took the initiative to go to Egypt - there is no record of God telling Abraham to go there. Abraham even went as far as to tell his wife to pretend to be his sister, so that the Egyptians would not kill him to take her away from him. This sounds very much to me like a hare-brained idea that progressively got worst as Abraham veered away from God's will for him to travel to and live in Canaan. In this case, God protected Abraham and blessed him despite his mis-steps, but it must have been a stressful time for Abraham, Sarah and even the Egyptians (who were struck with plague thanks to Abraham's lies).
2. Chapter 13 - Lot chooses to stay near Sodom. There soon came a time when Abraham and Lot's possessions got so big that they could not stay together. Abraham asked Lot (his nephew) to pick where he wanted to live, and Lot "lifted his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere" (Genesis 13:10). He used his initiative and choose the best land for his flocks, and pitched his tent near Sodom, even though "the men of Sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the LORD" (Genesis 13:13). Well, we all know what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, and Lot lost everything when God destroyed that area.
3. Chapter 16 - Sarah (then Sarai), Abraham's wife, asked him to sleep with her maid (Hagar) so that they may have an heir. God had promised Abraham that He would give the land to Abraham's descendants (Genesis 12:7), but 10 years later, Abraham and Sarah was still childless. I can appreciate that in their eagerness to see God's promise fulfilled, they decided to take their own intiative and have an heir through Hagar the maid. Seems the logical thing to do right? God has promised to bless their descendants, but they were still unable to conceive and getting past child-bearing age, so maybe God wants them to conceive through other means? They didn't exactly have IVF then, so they decided to do the next best thing, which apparently was not as much a taboo then as it is now. Turns out this was not quite how God wanted to create the Israelite nation, so instead Abramham fathered Ishmael, the ancestor of the Abrabic nations - the very same nations that are in so much conflict with the nation of Israel (offspring of Isaac, Abraham and Sarah's son) even until today.

This is something that I struggle with just about constantly. When do I take initiative and when do I be still and wait upon Him? E.g. do I apply for other roles/jobs, so do I wait upon Him? I have heard of many testimonials of a good job or promotion landing on the laps of Christians. Am I running ahead of Him by trying to get back into the job market? On the other hand, God has given us our minds and expect us to renew our minds as part of His miracle of Savation. So surely He would want us to use our minds rather than to always just sit and wait?

Perhaps what I need to do is to (1) always check my intentions (i.e. why am I even looking around for another role/job to begin with? Is this for selfish reasons or is this in line with His purpose for me at work?), and (2) remember that He is always in charge (despite our occasional follies). "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21, NIV)

PRAISE GOD!

Job (Part IV)

Yup, I have finally gotten through the last 4 chapters of Job (chapters 38-42), which represents 2 days of daily reading. I am still way behind my daily reading and will be doing some mugging to try to catch up.

But before that, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR. Here's wishing you a blessed 2008, a year of discovery, growth and blessings! In the Kewl Nitrox clan, the Christmas holidays are over and Mrs Nitrox's sisters are heading home. This morning we just sent off SBIL4 (sister and brother-in-law number 4) and their 2 boys - T1 and T2. We still have SBIL2 and their 2 girls staying with us, but already we are starting to feel the emptiness after the extended family gathering. R1 and R2 are going to miss their cousins so much when SBIL2 and their 2 girls leave on Thurs morning, the house will be empty without the 6 kids that have been so much a part of our lives for the last week.

Back to Job then, and God finally speaks. He did not really answer Job's questions, at least not in the manner that we would expect. As I read what God says to Job, it strikes me that it does not seem to be anything that Job does not already know - in short, God reminds Job that He is the sovereign God. Yet Job replies "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:5-6) I am not sure if Job actually saw God physically (the book of Job is not very clear on whether God just spoke, or did He appear physically as well). But I think that when Job says that he sees God now and repents, it may be more that the eyes of his heart and mind are now open to who God is.

Tenuous as it is, I would still ask of your kind indulgence for me to elaborate. Often we know something in our mind, but we do not know it in our heart. Example, if the doctor says you've got a terminal illness, and the only way to survive is to take a pill every day, chances are that we would remember to take the pill every single day. This is an example where both our mind and our heart knows that we need the pill. By the same token, we may also know that reading the Bible is an important part of the process of renewing our mind, which is (1) how we put off the old self and put on the new as part of the process (and miracle) of Salvation (Ephesians 4:22-24), and (2) what we need to do to understand and benefit from God's perfect will for us (Romans 12:2). Yet it seems so easy to forget to read His Word sometimes, doesn't it? That, to me, is an example where our minds may know the benefit and necessity of reading the bible, but our heart does not.

Perhaps the only way for us to walk closer to God and to reflect His love and His will in our lives is to know Him. I mean to REALLY know Him. Nothing opens my eyes more to my own brokeness than the moments when God shows me a little more more of who He is. Unlike Job, we have the benefit of the full gospel - the Old and the New Testament. My prayer is that we (including myself) will make full use of His Word that has already been given to get to know Him. To REALLY know Him.

And while we are on the subject of His written Word, annette and her hubby is also joining the daily reading plan at http://www.bibleinayear.org/. I am humbled. I am truly humbled.