Initiative or Obedience

With the "double whammy" of school starting and their cousins returning to USA/Australia, I hope it wouldn't be too much of a culture shock for R1 & R2. We got them to do some homework today to try to get their minds off the last few weeks of fun and games. On my end, it also means getting back to the daily rhythm of work, family, QT (Quiet Time with the Lord) and training - with work and family to juggle, there is simply no room for procastination when it comes to QT and triathlon training. I either jump into it, or the day just flies away somehow.


So let's jump straight into Genesis chapters 12-18 (which is 2 days in my chronological bible reading plan from http://www.bibleinayear.org/). This is a very interesting passage about how God called Abram to be Abraham (i.e. "father of many", Genesis 17:5) , and how the ancestors of the Jews and the Arabic nations (i.e. Isaac and Ishmael respectively) came about. As I read these chapters, I am reminded of the very real issue of balancing initiative versus obedience - i.e. just where is the balance between using our initiative (i.e using the faculties of our minds that the Lord blessed us with) and waiting/obeying upon Him.

There are at least 3 examples in these chapters that speak of the danger of "running before the Lord":

1. Chapter 12 - Abraham (then Abram) travelled to Egypt to escape the famine in Canaan. God told Abram to go to Canaan, and to his credit he went. But when there was a famine in the land, verse 10 seems to suggest that Abraham took the initiative to go to Egypt - there is no record of God telling Abraham to go there. Abraham even went as far as to tell his wife to pretend to be his sister, so that the Egyptians would not kill him to take her away from him. This sounds very much to me like a hare-brained idea that progressively got worst as Abraham veered away from God's will for him to travel to and live in Canaan. In this case, God protected Abraham and blessed him despite his mis-steps, but it must have been a stressful time for Abraham, Sarah and even the Egyptians (who were struck with plague thanks to Abraham's lies).
2. Chapter 13 - Lot chooses to stay near Sodom. There soon came a time when Abraham and Lot's possessions got so big that they could not stay together. Abraham asked Lot (his nephew) to pick where he wanted to live, and Lot "lifted his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere" (Genesis 13:10). He used his initiative and choose the best land for his flocks, and pitched his tent near Sodom, even though "the men of Sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the LORD" (Genesis 13:13). Well, we all know what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, and Lot lost everything when God destroyed that area.
3. Chapter 16 - Sarah (then Sarai), Abraham's wife, asked him to sleep with her maid (Hagar) so that they may have an heir. God had promised Abraham that He would give the land to Abraham's descendants (Genesis 12:7), but 10 years later, Abraham and Sarah was still childless. I can appreciate that in their eagerness to see God's promise fulfilled, they decided to take their own intiative and have an heir through Hagar the maid. Seems the logical thing to do right? God has promised to bless their descendants, but they were still unable to conceive and getting past child-bearing age, so maybe God wants them to conceive through other means? They didn't exactly have IVF then, so they decided to do the next best thing, which apparently was not as much a taboo then as it is now. Turns out this was not quite how God wanted to create the Israelite nation, so instead Abramham fathered Ishmael, the ancestor of the Abrabic nations - the very same nations that are in so much conflict with the nation of Israel (offspring of Isaac, Abraham and Sarah's son) even until today.

This is something that I struggle with just about constantly. When do I take initiative and when do I be still and wait upon Him? E.g. do I apply for other roles/jobs, so do I wait upon Him? I have heard of many testimonials of a good job or promotion landing on the laps of Christians. Am I running ahead of Him by trying to get back into the job market? On the other hand, God has given us our minds and expect us to renew our minds as part of His miracle of Savation. So surely He would want us to use our minds rather than to always just sit and wait?

Perhaps what I need to do is to (1) always check my intentions (i.e. why am I even looking around for another role/job to begin with? Is this for selfish reasons or is this in line with His purpose for me at work?), and (2) remember that He is always in charge (despite our occasional follies). "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21, NIV)

PRAISE GOD!

Job (Part IV)

Yup, I have finally gotten through the last 4 chapters of Job (chapters 38-42), which represents 2 days of daily reading. I am still way behind my daily reading and will be doing some mugging to try to catch up.

But before that, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR. Here's wishing you a blessed 2008, a year of discovery, growth and blessings! In the Kewl Nitrox clan, the Christmas holidays are over and Mrs Nitrox's sisters are heading home. This morning we just sent off SBIL4 (sister and brother-in-law number 4) and their 2 boys - T1 and T2. We still have SBIL2 and their 2 girls staying with us, but already we are starting to feel the emptiness after the extended family gathering. R1 and R2 are going to miss their cousins so much when SBIL2 and their 2 girls leave on Thurs morning, the house will be empty without the 6 kids that have been so much a part of our lives for the last week.

Back to Job then, and God finally speaks. He did not really answer Job's questions, at least not in the manner that we would expect. As I read what God says to Job, it strikes me that it does not seem to be anything that Job does not already know - in short, God reminds Job that He is the sovereign God. Yet Job replies "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:5-6) I am not sure if Job actually saw God physically (the book of Job is not very clear on whether God just spoke, or did He appear physically as well). But I think that when Job says that he sees God now and repents, it may be more that the eyes of his heart and mind are now open to who God is.

Tenuous as it is, I would still ask of your kind indulgence for me to elaborate. Often we know something in our mind, but we do not know it in our heart. Example, if the doctor says you've got a terminal illness, and the only way to survive is to take a pill every day, chances are that we would remember to take the pill every single day. This is an example where both our mind and our heart knows that we need the pill. By the same token, we may also know that reading the Bible is an important part of the process of renewing our mind, which is (1) how we put off the old self and put on the new as part of the process (and miracle) of Salvation (Ephesians 4:22-24), and (2) what we need to do to understand and benefit from God's perfect will for us (Romans 12:2). Yet it seems so easy to forget to read His Word sometimes, doesn't it? That, to me, is an example where our minds may know the benefit and necessity of reading the bible, but our heart does not.

Perhaps the only way for us to walk closer to God and to reflect His love and His will in our lives is to know Him. I mean to REALLY know Him. Nothing opens my eyes more to my own brokeness than the moments when God shows me a little more more of who He is. Unlike Job, we have the benefit of the full gospel - the Old and the New Testament. My prayer is that we (including myself) will make full use of His Word that has already been given to get to know Him. To REALLY know Him.

And while we are on the subject of His written Word, annette and her hubby is also joining the daily reading plan at http://www.bibleinayear.org/. I am humbled. I am truly humbled.

Job (Part III)

But before that... A belated Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year in advance! This Christmas, I have 6 kids in my home for a week. Yup, ST's sisters are in town and have wisely decided to deposit the kids with us. This is making training & blogging pretty much impossible, but I should not be complaining about having family over during the Christmas holidays. I have to admit that having 6 kids (between 5 to 12) in the house continues to test my patience and energy, but I am sure that the minute they leave for their homes in the USA/Australia, I will miss them real bad.

And now onto more observations about Job. Since my last post, I have read Job chapters 24 - 37, which is 4 days in the http://www.bibleinayear.org/ reading plan. It is interesting to note that even in his complaints, Job was wise beyond his time.

1. Starting with what perhaps could be trivial, Job understood some pretty profound scientic truths - e.g. earth is suspended in space (most of the rest of the civilized world then still thought that the earth rests on the back of a giant turtle) (Job 26:7), rain comes from water vapour (Job 36:27-28), etc...
2. Job longed for and anticipated one who can mediate between man and God (Job 9:32-35). Interestingly Elihu, the youngest and last of the speakers (Job 33:23-25) also alluded to the same messenger/mediator, before he fell back to the general "pattern" of Job's other 2 friends (which is that Job must have done something wrong to deserve his troubles, because God does not allow bad things to happen to good people). This mediator anticipated by Job finally came in the form of Jesus (God Himself) on Christmas Day.
3. Job longed for and anticipated seeing God at the end of his time (Job 19:25-27). Without having the promise of eternal life (that came only with Jesus much later in time), Job trusted God enough to know somehow that God will be fair to him, and will not allow him to just disappear with death. He certainly had doubts - the entire book is filled with his doubts and fears about dying without any notion of fairness from God - but HE NEVER GAVE UP.
4. Which brings me to what to me is the most moving observation about Job - He had the maturity to accept that sometimes bad people prosper while the righteous suffer, and he had the tenacity to argue with God when bad things happened to him despite being blameless before God. We live in a world where sometimes it is hard to understand why crooks amass their wealth and the rightoeous suffer at theirs hands, and this is a problem that his friends seem to overlook (Job 21:28-34). Job's friends seem overly eager to interpret Job's complaints to God as being illegitimate and ill-founded. In their zealousness, they even proclaimed that God Himself was prompting them to speak and defend His name. What's amazing about Job is that (1) he had the maturity of faith to understand that he need not jump to God's rescue when there are open issues (Job 27:5); and that (2) he had the tenacity to stubbornly pursue God for an answer even though he was undergoing all his sufferings without knowing why. How many of us give up on God when we hit issues that cannot be explained away? The book of Job tells us that if we, like Job, stubbornly pursue God for answers, He will answer us. It may not be the answer that we were expecting (just like with Job), but He will answer one way or another.

While we are on the subject of Job, http://tryathlete.blogspot.com/ has a different (and rather profound) intepretation which he expresses beautifully. You may want to check it out here.

OSIM Corporate Triathlon - 3rd Nov 2007

Just got this in the mail - yup it's my official race cert from my last race this year. Two things of significance on this race cert: (1) I am officially a veteran now (past 40), and (2) I may be one of the youngest in my new age group, but it did not make me any faster (48th out of 92 veterans). ;-)

What's kewl is that my swim seems to have improved tremendously - I did the same race 2 years ago and came in 21 min 36 sec, which means I have improved by a whopping 955 seconds or 26%! ;-) Besides having good stroke correction advice from KN (whose identity will still stay secret) and R1/R2's swim coach, I think my start position also helped. I decided to try starting mid-pack this time (rather than my usual end-of-pack start position). It actually felt rather uncomfortable, because I was "forced" to swim right in the middle the whole way, thanks to being sandwiched between swimmers to the front and back of me. It felt like quite a fast pace, but I also remember feeling frustrated that I could not do a full stroke without touching the feet of the guys in front.

I got out of the water feeling a bit more "winded" than I would have liked, which probably explains why I got slower on the bike - 2 years ago, I did it in 41 min 56 sec, which means I was slower by 111 seconds which translates to a drop of about 4-5% in speed. Kinda frustrating that all the "go faster" add-ons to the bike - zero set-back seat post, Q-rotor chain ring, and racing clinchers - may not have contributed as much as I would have liked. :-(

While I am still a SLOW runner, I am encouraged that somehow I have picked up some speed. 2 years ago I did the run in 32 min 22 sec, which means I am now 145 seconds or 7.5% faster - like I said, not much, but faster is faster. :-) Perhaps running the 15km race 6 days before the Corporate Triathlon really did help.

So what does this mean in terms of my training plans for 2008? Well, I guess it means that I will do more of the same - mixture of intervals and long swims/runs, one brick a week, and some strength training. I would really like to ride more than once a week, but with the work and family commitments, I can't see it happening. One difference I will make is that I will (try) to be less "anal" about making my full number of sessions every week. More than one of you have told me this before - that at my (sporadic) level of training, I really don't need to have a rigid plan split into base/speed/race phases. What I will do is just stick to the motto of "Doing what I can" and not be too fussed about training sessions missed due to the kids, work, weather, etc... It's all part of my plan this year to focus on what's REALLY important. The other change I will try is to increase my long swim/bike/run to double Olympic (International) Triathlon distances - 3km/80km/20km.

In terms of my 2008 race calendar, I will probably start with the Singapore Biathlon 1st March, maybe the City Duathlon 18th May, working up to the OSIM International Triathlon 13 July, and ending the year with the New Balance Real Run and the Corporate Sprint Triathlon. If I do reach my long run objective of 20km this year, I may even close the year with my 1st even half marathon. Sounds like a plan huh? :-)

Job (Part II)

I am making good progress trying to catch up with my bible reading - managed to cramp in 3 days' reading since Wed (chapters 14-23). And yes, that handsome duo on the right are indeed R1 & R2, they must take after their Dad. ;-)

The book of Job is interesting and yet tricky to understand because there really is just a fine line between what Job and his friends say.

But first, a quick synopsis: Job is a very wealthy/successful (Job 1:3) and righteous man - God calls him a "blameless and upright man" (Job 1:8). Satan asks and gets permission to test him severely, taking from Job his riches, children and even health. At his lowest point, Job suffered both physical (Job 7:5) and mental/spiritual (Job 7:13-14) torment. It is also at his lowest point, that his friends came to him with noble intentions of comforting him (Job 2:12-13). However when Job starts voicing his grievances to the Lord, it seems his friends felt that as good believers, they should jump to the defence of God, and in doing so, they can only conclude that Job has brought his sufferings upon himself simply because he is not truly blameless and upright. Finally, God answers Job, but He did not explain why He allowed Satan to test Job. He merely reminded Job that He is God. Job repents and reconciles with God (Job 42:5-6). The Lord also finds Job's friends guilty of speaking falsely of Him, and they had to receive intercession from Job (Job 42:7-8). The book of Job ends with God restoring everything and more to Job, and he lived a blessed life to a ripe old age (Job 42:12-17).

To me, the tricky bit in Job is to figure out what Job's friends said about God that was declared to be false (by God Himself)? It is tricky because there is actually a lot of truth in what Job's friends said (which Job agrees to), for example:
1. God is almighty and omnipotent - He is always in control.
2. God is perfect and beyond reproach, compared to Him we are all sinners.

3. God is just - the unrighteous do not profit forever, neither do the righteous suffer forever. (The limitation with them was the length of time - Job and his friends did not have the benefit of the New Testament message of eternal life, and thus judged only by what transpired during their time on earth).

Perhaps the big difference between what was said by Job and his friends is that his friends insisted that bad things don't happen to good people - i.e. if bad things happen were happening to Job, there must be something wrong with him. This is clearly not the case with Job, whom God Himself calls a "blameless and upright man" (Job 1:8). Job couldn't understand why the bad things were happening to him either, but he stubbornly refused to give up on God - he never stopped pouring out his grievances to Him. How kewl is that? More on that in Part 3...

Talking about kewl stuff, robtherunner has also signed up for the email bible reading plan. I am humbled.

Job

Please excuse the pun, but this week, my job is keeping me from reading the book of Job. :-) Yup, my daily bible reading (http://www.bibleinayear.org/) jumps from Genesis to Job because I chose the chronological reading plan. And at work, I travel to 4 cities this week - Jakarta, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Bangkok. As you can imagine, this is wrecking havoc to my bible reading and training. :-( Oh well, at least I am contributing to Singapore Airlines' growth. :-)

I am trying to catch up on the daily readings emailed to me, so this post is gonna be my thoughts after getting through Job 1 - 13 (which covers 3 days).

The book of Job has been a favourite of mine since 7 years back when R1 was born. He had a congenital problem at birth and subsequently required surgery at one year old. As you can imagine, having our 1st baby who was not quite completely and perfectly made (so we thought) was immensely stressful. At my lowest point, I made the painful confession to Mrs Nitrox that if I had known that our baby would have congenital problems, I would have elected not to have any children. Thankfully, God did not let go of me, despite my weakness and lack of faith. He brought me to the book of Job, and through it, I was immensely encouraged, because I learnt two fundermental truths - (1) that we can (and are required) to pour our honest, no-holds-barred thoughts/grievances to Him, and that (2) He will not test us beyond what we can bear, and at the end of the period of testing, comes complete and perfect restoration. Just to finish the story about R1, the Lord brought us to a fantastic surgeon, more than that, His hands restored R1 beyond the expectations of even the doctors, and we continue to trust Him in completing His miracle of restoration in R1.

Finally a quick shout out to CP, who is also joining the email bible reading plan (http://www.bibleinayear.org/). Thanks so much for sharing that CP, I am immensely encouraged - if this blog touches just one person, then it would already be worth my sporadic efforts. May the Lord bless you in your journey in re-discovering His word!

A New Beginning...

Yesterday's reading (Genesis 8-11, New King James) is mostly about a new beginning, for Noah and the whole earth. Which kinda reflects where I am now - a new beginning.

At work, yet another re-org looms in 1st Jan, so one way or another, things are changing. Training-wise, I have just come off a month's break - started with a week long holiday in Disneyland Hong Kong, and just couldn't bring myself back to training until this week. On the spiritual level, I realised the importance of renewing my mind (Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:17-24) and have committed to much more regular feeding on His word.

This should be an interesting year.

"If you do well, will you not be accepted?"

Ok, yesterday's daily reading was Genesis chapters 4-7 [I am going through the New King James (NKJ) version]. This goes from Cain & Abel, to Noah & the great flood.

So what strikes me in yesterday's reading was what God said to Cain when He rejected Cain's offering (but accepted Abel's). He said "If you do well, will you not be accepted?..." (Genesis 4:7, NKJ). I have always wondered why God rejected Cain's offering, but the New King James version seems to be quite clear in saying that Cain just did not "do well". Hmmmmm, this reminds me that God expects the best from us when we work. Which makes me ashamed of the times when I may not have worked with the best (nor noble) intentions - office politics come to mind. Too many times have I decided to "take matters into my own hands" and did something "clever" in my own eyes to get back at the people/system that is trying to get me down. But what is "clever" in my own eyes is often not "wise" or acceptable in God's eyes.

God's requirement is simple and yet impossible to do without faith in His saving grace. He just wants us to "do well" - to work as for Him and not for men (Colossians 3:23) - not even for myself. He will even the score, not me (Proverbs 25:21-22). I gotta remember that.

His Awesome Patience

Hi, I am trying to read through the bible in a year again, this time in New King James version. There is this very cool website http://www.bibleinayear.org/ which actually emails you the daily bible reading! I dunno about you, but I somehow fill obligated to read my office emails, so hopefully this will work better for me than the on-again, off-again attempts I have been making with other bible reading plans.

Being the smart aleck that I am, I have decided to post a short entry daily about what spoke to me in my daily readings. I am hoping that this serves to give me more discipline to get on track with the daily readings, and I will be praying that as you read the posts, He will speak directly to you and bless you despite my clumsy attempts at blogging.

OK, Day 1 is Genesis 1-3, exciting stuff about how God created the universe and all in it. As I read these chapters, something a good friend of mine shared resonates in my mind. In Chapter 3, when Adam and Eve takes of the forbidden fruit, do you suppose God knew straight away that they have in one single act of defiance thrown away all the good that God has planned for them in His perfect Will? Well, if He is indeed the all-knowing and omnipotent God, then He must know, right? So why did He ask Adam "Where are you?" (v10), and then "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?" (v11). My friend suggested that since this is the first time Adam has sinned, God is probing Adam to get him to understand and confess what he has done, so that he learns.

What awesome patience! Imagine this, you have just stepped into the house after a long day of work and you find that Junior has been using your brand new $3,000 ZIPP wheels as a lever to move the fridge (despite being told NOT to touch it), and your ZIPP wheels now look more like a used wedge of lemon. For those asking "What's a ZIPP?", please substitue with Junior breaking your brand new wide screen plasma TV (picture not mine, by the way). Would you (1) Gasp/scream in horror, (2) Turn around and head for the pub, (3) Chase Junior around the house while screaming like a banshee, (4) Start thinking of all sorts of ways to punish Junior for his wilful act of disobedience, or (5) Ask him gently what he has done (despite the obvious circumstantial evidence) so that Junior has a chance to admit (and learn from) what he has done? I confess that I would have probably done (1) to (4) in combination. :-) Now do you see what I mean by "His Awesome Patience"?

I'm Back!

Yup, after an absence of 4 months I am back on blogger, and you have found my new blog.

I've been doing a lot of soul-searching in the time I have been away, and I have come to the conclusion that I will focus more on what REALLY matters to me - God's awesome grace and His incredibly wise method to use us to save ourselves.

To be honest, it was also getting depressing talking about my Olympic/International and Sprint distance triathlon training/races amidst the incredible Ironman/Ironwomen/Marathoners here in blogger. :-) You just have to trust me when I say that I am still training and racing when I can (here's picture proof) - albeit Olympic and Sprint distances only.

For my old buddies, welcome back and sorry it took me so long to find myself in blogsphere. For the newcomers (and I am praying there will be some new readers) :-), do stick around and please be patient with my bungling attempts to record His incredible wisdom and miraculous grace in my life.